Journal 1:

    Storytelling was expressed greatly in the short story “Cathedral” by Raymond Carver. Throughout the story the author used great details to express where the people are and what they were thinking. Looking more in depth in the story the author chose a very peaceful setting. The blind man became intrigued with what a cathedral looked like and the other man could not explain it in words. Nonetheless, the man proceeded to guide the blind man through a drawing of what the cathedral looked like. Both men did not have a lot in common in the beginning of the short story. At the beginning the blind man arrived, they had dinner and talked until the wife went upstairs. Until they sat together and the blind man and the narrator had their hand on the pencil and drew the cathedral together. I feel that their connection was built from this experience and they both had a different understanding of each other especially because both characters have many differences. A cathedral is huge compared to a church setting which symbolizes the emphasis of this experience and in addition the title of the short story is called “Cathedral” to emphasize the importance of this story’s plot and message. In addition to this, if a person has been blind all their life, they do not have any reference as to what a cathedral could look like, whereas explaining a house having four walls and a roof is more straightforward and not exciting. It felt like we could “see” and be a part of the story through the details and understanding of the different characters. Such as the intimacy built between a narrator and the blind man when drawing and understanding their different points of views as well as the toxic relationship between the narrator and his wife through the wife’s expression of the narrator’s actions. If the short story was written through the wife’s point of view we would understand more of how she felt about the husband and why she is staying with him. We can understand the characters and the areas even though we don’t even know their ages. The short stories allow for a lot of interpretation. We have a lot of knowledge on the characters as well as an understanding of their thinking progression. People go to cathedrals to practice their personal morals and values. Both men are very different but they have a common ground on a place of peace though a drawing. As well since the drawing they both have more common areas and understandings of each other compared to the beginning of the short story. The author chose a huge building compared to a smaller church to represent how amazing of a building a cathedral is which is a place considered magnificent.

Questions 

Why not just a church? 

They were zen in the silence once the drawing was finished, was the silence because it was a cathedral or was it more of inner peace.   

Journal 2: 

    This chapter was filled with lots of information about casting shadows. Something I liked about this chapter was having the sub titles and being able to understand the topic and categories of the differences within writing. Something I liked was the topic of desire and human complexity. When using desire we want to make sure there is development of the character in the book and the character desire within the story fizzes out. Human complexity is the differences within the character such as small details like sound of voice to larger details like the choices the character makes. I also found the difference between having good vs. bad with characters. This is something that I have never chosen to think about within the differences of characters but I would like to bring this into the plot. I can show this through contrasting traits such as comparing a ‘girly walk’ to a ‘slow hunchback walk’. This will allow traits to conflict with each other but also not having to just state the differences and lead room for interpretation though consistency and keeping the actions within the same and not leading for drastic changes because it will break the story line. Something else I liked was getting to know the characters. Something I forget or would like to improve on is not just stating information but building towards it such as appearance, background, personality and identity. This is something that is very important so the audience understands the characters and their development. Furthermore, I want to make sure I express the difference within the kinds of characters. Such as, the difference between round and flat characters and that all of them do not develop with the same amount of depth. A way to express this can not be just stating it. I can make sure to include having the narrator tell this girl to the audience as well as giving us information though major and minor details. This will as well show character traits through action, speech, and thought. I enjoyed reading this chapter because these are things I definitely want to work on within my writing and the examples she gave us throughout “The Cathedral” were definitely helpful to look back on as examples. 

Journal 3:

    This chapter was filled with lots of information about a question of focus. Something I liked was the topic of plot versus real life. When writing I can tend to struggle with finding something interesting to keep the audience engaged while keeping it aligned with the characters’ plot. We want our writing to seem real and for the audience to make connections with it. We want to keep the plot real while leaving the boring stuff out. For the plot to be real we need to make sure we have a drastic question. This is something that is not a yes or no question but brings details into our writing and allows for a protagonist to have a goal. The goal should be stemming from something they are missing in their life. I liked how they included these questions throughout the reading where you can take a character in your head, give them a story line and what their goal is, and show that through many ways. I feel it allowed me to understand and keep my writing having a purpose and not getting side tracked. While the main character has a goal as well we need to have conflict within our writing. I liked how the book expresses what to include such as these details. It allows me to have an understanding of what to include within my writing for my audience. Such as having a structure of the plot. Something I want to include is having a checklist for story development and a diagram web for character development. Within my checklist is a beginning which will include dropping the audience into a reading in plot, giving background, and a dramatic question. Within the middle of the plot I will include the protagonist’s path to their goal and what’s blocking it with tension which will lead into the shortest amount of pages the ending which follows the pattern while answering questions. Having this layout will allow me to include a crisis, climax, and consequences leading to the end goal. I loved that they explained how to break up your writing and give meaning to different sections of your writing. Something else I enjoyed was going over subplots. I haven’t really ever tried this within my own writing or have been in a discussion about it within writings in class. I like the idea that it goes along complementing the main plot. I think it will add more depth within my writing and allow it to seem more real with different questions, issues and struggles. This will as well be seen within my plot emerges where I can lead in with clues with plot, have climax and allow for character and plot development. I really enjoyed reading this chapter due to the ideas that it allowed me to include in my next writing assignment such as the next list.

Journal 4:

    The short story “To Buffalo Eastward” by Gabriel Bump, features our main character, who is an omniscient character which we know as the Invisible man. This story is written from a first person point of view and illustrates a story of the narrator driving to Buffalo while taking us back to memories while keeping us up to date with the future. Throughout this drive he stops at bookstores, and at one he stopped and wondered if this bookstore could help figure out what was wrong with him. From personal insight it comes clear that he is struggling with depression and anxiety and resorts to alcohol. The narrator has always seemed to be on the move and running away from his personal issues which he may struggle to handle due to anxiety and depression and overuse of drug addiction. One way to infer this is while he is at the bar he thinks about his mother and their past memories together. He doesn’t think of happy memories however like when most of us think upon loved ones he thinks of how his mothers childhood home was torn down. I wonder why this is the memory he thought of. It seems that he has never fit in and found a place of his own to bring happy memories. He must have had a good connection with his mother since he thinks of her. Throughout this short story He interacts with many people but never a close and personal conversation such as the carpenter who calls himself Sancho Panza. Throughout the story the narrator shows many characteristics that lead to showing he is searching for someone or something, possibly himself. In addition, another way the narrator reveals characteristics about himself is when he says that he gets anxious and scared when he wants to text the girl he loves. Moreover, the girl he loves has a fiancé which could be another reason the narrator is so timid and anxious. When he thinks about her he thinks of going to his home in Ann Arbor where he left but his anxiety gets in the way. I feel the main character struggles with finding a “place” to call his own and lets his emotions control his actions but not in a powerful way but a fearful way that makes him feel he doesn’t belong. 

Journal 5 :   

My writing space is silent, no distractions, no other people and filled with bright natural light. My writing space contains my computer or IPad where I can make changes without all the ease marks on my desk. The space is cleared off with only ideas on the pages spread around my technology device. I surround myself with things I enjoy but nothing that’s crazy interesting due I tend to get distracted. I struggle to write on paper because I am a slow writer and will get caught up on my words if I don’t get them down quickly enough. The space needs to be quiet because when watching or hearing noise I will not be able to focus on my personality ideas and my brain will be filled with distractions which will lead to frustration from losing my track of thought. I have a list of ideas, do to, and schedules to keep in mind next to me to make sure I am on time and don’t send myself into anxiety from my type A personality. Other people can not be present because I will come off rude when they try to make a conversion and I completely ignore them so to avoid that I keep to myself and let the social butterfly come out when my work is all completed. I focus and complete my best work in these types of settings and the conditions are essentially for my academic success which is why I am thankful for my single dorm room.

Journal 6:

    This chapter is filled with lots of information about point of view. Starting off with the first point of view is something I worked a lot with in high school. When writing essays or expression writes my teachers would want us to write from the narrator’s perspective. This is something I’m more familiar with and comfortable writing in. However I have never written with first person multiple vision where there can be multiple narratives within the story. I feel like this would be challenging to do because there are so many points of views that you need a lot of character development. When talking about first person peripherals, I liked the example with “The Great Gatsby” when reading the book we never talked about the point of view which was interesting because it played a major role in the book. I really liked the example of an unreliable first person because when reading a story we are only getting their point of view and they can be hiding the truth and only expressing points that they believe they understand. This is something I definitely want to include within my writing piece. Moving onto a third person point of view is when the narrator is not a character in the story but a voice to tell the story. There is multiple vision in third person as well which will allow the author to show multiple vision points of view instead of just from one person. Third person omniscience is from a “god’s-eye” point of view like explained in the character. The narrator will know everything about the characters and this will be expressed to the audience. Third person objective will deny access to even a single character’s mind. The writer will reveal everything. I feel like this is hard to blend into a lot of stories since it’s like an account of events and getting facts from it. I struggled a lot doing the “your turn” in this section. It’s hard to just say facts without trying to write down personal thoughts from the characters. Second people are told in the voice of the narrator while expressing what the characters did or said. They talked about switching the pronoun to “you” and it made a lot more sense on how to write from this point of view. Something that I never heard of was emotional distance. I feel like I read books with emotional distance included in them but never knew the term. Emotional distance is what you sense between the narrator and the characters, a distance that affects how close the reader feels to the characters. I feel like it would be really cool for interpretation within writing. I never really thought about the importance of understanding point of view until I came into this class and wrote a poem from the wife’s point of view instead of the husband. Story’s can be told very differently and understanding how each character feels. When writing within the future I will definitely try to branch out and use differences when writing. 

Journal 7:

    This chapter is based on putting your words into pictures. This chapter first started on the five senses. By using our five senses we can give the advance an image of what we are trying to create so they can experience and be part of our writing.  We want to use specificity to make sure our details aren’t just sensory details but also have specifics to our plot line and characters. We want to make sure our writing blends into the storyline and plot. When describing things we have to use our best words. The description is made out of words and it allows you to create the image. This is Something I normally do which made me change my proceptive I try to use more challenging vocabulary words but I want to now focus on words that blend into my story. The chapter begging went over how to lead for good description the changed over to figurative language, expressions for speech and ways to do this such as similes and metaphors which they called tricks of the trade. After this the chapter moved onto telling details, which included going over lush details to the kind that makes the reader bored. This leads into description traps which are stuff you don’t want to include in your writing. Such as avoiding cliches, overused expressions and just staying on the same track line with your story. Lastly the chapter talked about the description of inner life like what the people and places look like, sound of voice, how they spend free time. I really liked this section of the page because it makes your story seem more real and I personally struggle with keeping the story real because I tend to write with essay formatting.

Journal 8:

    “Our Children” by Vaness Cuti was an amazing example of how to use description with words within our story. The way she used sensory and the five senses made you feel like you were there in the story. The details related to the story without overwhelming you with a lot of different ideas and details distracting you from the plot. I feel like I could visualize being in the cabin with them and hearing the sounds of the different animals. Something else I liked that we talked about within class last week was how the character can be seen as the bad guy but have redeeming characteristics. Honestly it made her seem very real. Like people make mistakes and she understands that. I feel that most stories that we were introduced to in high school lead with the hero story or something many students can not relate to but within this story it all seems very real and easy to picture within our time era. I feel like the main character was relatable. Throughout this whole story she wanted to fit in with mother role, she compared herself to Dan’s ex wife, while she kept trying to talk herself through situations. I feel like the main character struggles to be true to herself which leads her to struggle to hold relationships. 

Journal 9:

    This chapter talked about Dialogue. The chapter first talked about how dialogue is everything in fiction that isn’t narration. I personally think dialogue is hard to write because it doesn’t sound as real as a conversation. The chapter talked about how dialogue shouldn’t be rehearsed or robotic. I definitely think this is something I need to work on because I need to bring in character specific information and use of the five senses. I liked how they mentioned how we can reach for realistic conversations by listening to people talk and watching their actions as they speak such as if their eyes opened wider. Dialogue convention is an established expectation such as things in society expect. Dialogue has to be easy to follow as you do not have to use words such as “said” each time a character talks. One way to connect it to a character is using attribute speech to link it with the action or a thought. You can use skill tags and the reader will not struggle with who is saying what, such as using “asked the women” or “the man called”. Stage directions add physical action to dialogue and help bring a scene to life. This is important because the reader can only interfere with what they believe the scene looks like, giving them an image will help them visualize what is around the character and have more information on the character. An Indirect dialogue is where the dialogue is summarized rather than quoted. I normally do this within my writing because it seems easier than trying to come up with a conversation within my head. Dialogue allows the character to speak for themselves. You want to make sure to include a mix within your writing. Direct dialogue allows it to be more personal. When not using dialogue correctly the characters may seem like they are puppets which will make the writing boring and not seem real. 

Journal 10:

    This chapter talked about setting and pacing. Place has a huge part within the story. The writers need to include a place to have specific details about the story. This location will also define where the characters are developing. Time will also integrate to the setting as a place. This will help with the background of the story. Setting the mood will be an addition to having a physical setting with a place and time. This will enhance the emotional landscape affecting the atmosphere. Setting and character relate as well. The play will integrate with how they talk, dress, work and even eat their food. Each person in real life gets affected by their surroundings. Like growing up in NYC compared to a farm in Maine. The characters will have differences just because of the area. Settings could contain a lot of details and reflect on the plot. The chapter as well talks about the reality of a setting dealing with authentic settings and portraying real places . This allows for the story to seem more real. What happens when you are writing a story about magic or something? Like magic and unicorns and you want to create an ice cream land.  Would you give a lot of details to make it seem real. The pace of time is important as well as the manipulation of time. In the story I am writing now I use age to show the change in time as well as using flashbacks to give more details. 

Journal 11:

    “Escape From the Dysphesiac People” by Brandon Hobson was something I would have been interested in reading if it wasn’t for a class assessment; however, it changed my perspective. This short story used a lot of descriptive language within the five senses. It was eye opening to actually try to look at all the description words used to set the story line. All the description words made the story line flow better and seem like you were in the story. I also liked the dialogue, I particularly liked how after the characters said something it was “he said” or “she said”. It didn’t use names but you could understand what characters were speaking from the description for words used. Such as certain characters would only use some words and other characters would use different words. As well the main character used the word “Beloved” allowed the reader to understand when we are within the present of the story but as well jumping into flashbacks. The author did an excellent job writing this story and the work shows all the effort put into the little things to make the story come to life and be easy to follow. The plot of the story was very interesting and a different type of writing than I am used to. Since we followed the main character on this journey I wonder what the story would be like not following the perspective of the main character but someone he just crossed paths with and how the end of the story would turn out.

Journal 12:

    This chapter talks about voice and the different types of voices you will hear. Such as if you are using first person narrative you have to talk to match the personality. When using second or third person you do not need to sound like the person and have a narrator. When using a conversational voice it’s casual conversation between characters. This will allow the audience to capture the voice of the differences between characters such as talking in a quite soft voice to screaming. Informal voice is not as casual as the conversational voice and as well does not have to be dressed up for formal voices. Formal voices do not have to be awkward, but it’s hard to understand. Such as said in the book I think of it more as a formal conversation between an adult and child. A ceremonial voice is a good way to give an image on the picture. Other voices are when it’s filled with unusual voices that don’t fit anywhere within the storyline. I never thought of voice as something so critical within a story, like if you are eight years old you do not have the same vocabulary compared to someone in their mid thirties. Style can also be seen as interchangeable with voice but they are different with writers perspectives. Words are something that do not create voice through the flow of the story. I always thought word choice was something important and the more challenging words that I try to use are not commonly used in sentences and ruin the flow of the conversation. Something I did not know is the length of your paragraph has an influence on voice. A new paragraph is a shift which can lead to differentiation within the sentence flow and characters tone of voice. When doing this it’s important to be consistent with words, sentences and paragraphs. Making dramatic changes will throw the readers off and lead for the story not to flow. 

Journal 13:

    The short story “Clementine, Carmeliata, Dog” by David Means was such a powerful short story. I felt like I was in the book while reading it, the detail of words and setting the story with such illustrations made me imagine what I think the two houses would look like as long as the woods along the paths. The story was told in first person narration of the dog and the “different life’s” she has lived. I loved how the author used transitions of just the name change from Clementine to Carmeliata to describe the changes within the lives and how they are different and had positives and negatives to both. I think this story would be completely different if it was told from a human’s perspective in this story. Such as if it was just from Luisa’s point of view we might have gotten more description about her marriage and her pregnancy however we would not know about the life of Clementine. Something I really liked about this short story as well was how easy it was to follow, normally I like to go back and reread a section if I was not clear of the message or got confused with a translation, however this story made such clear sense while reading it. It felt more enjoyable compared to reading where you consider homework and zone out. The story structure made sense and the style and tone used fit with the plot so well. The description words sound like something humans would not normally note on or compare things to. The language feels right within the story.  An example can include “ Carmeliata put her head down and listened, hearing a white liquid fury along with a thump, while her tongue- licking and licking Luisas skin- tasted the tangy salt of new life.” (Page 95, Means) These are descriptive words that I would never use to describe a pregnancy. I really enjoyed reading this story and have never read a narration like this before. 

Journal 14:

    This chapter talks about the theme. The theme is an important element to your story. It helps us break down what the story is really about in a single word or phrase. I really enjoyed the “your turn” within this chapter because it was a little confusing without the examples given, and if they were given I was struggling with mixing up the details and the plot. The one “your turn” that really stood out to me was the example of the soldier going into war and  you had to write out the three outcomes you can have from the soldier going to war. This example shows how the theme is the direction of the story while using a subtle theme in a way. Being able to get hands-on experience within writing made way more sense to me then following along with the quotes and the metaphor with the vessel. I like how the theme was used to bring your story to life without being in your face to the reader. Such as if faith was the theme within your story you should have characters and settings that illustrate the theme. The theme will allow you to focus on some things as a writer. When you write you should be keeping your theme in mind, such as adding things that follow along within the chapter such as certain words that can include faith, or certain backgrounds. Something that I really liked and will do with the short story we are working on now is collecting a list of themes I see with my writing such as characters, voice, setting, and even to the opening line. I want to make sure my writing relates to my theme and is illustrated. 

Journal 15:

Peer Review:

“ The Arlo Conspiracy”

I think your story showed an amazing description and flow. I enjoyed how you used the flow of the story with all the characters through detailed description and dialogue. You didn’t just state how the characters feel you showed it though the conversation which made the story very realistic. One thing that I really liked as well was how you used similar language throughout the whole story and really expressed the details of the setting. I think the story wouldn’t make as much sense without the language it really brought out the era and the knowledge of the surrounding places and description made it feel like you were in the story. I really liked the description but as well it was very overwhelming. It was hard to keep up with the actual plot and I felt like I had to reread certain parts to understand it. I think if you focused on certain things such as religion or the kidnapping areas and built off that it might make a little more sense. Overall I think you did a really good job! 

    “The Mean Streets” 

I think your story was super interesting to read and was very easy to understand from a reader point of view. I think your story really connected well from the beginning to the end. I thought the dialog was very easy to follow and it didn’t seem forced. I was a bit confused when you talked about Heather’s reputation, is it about being a reporter or her as a person? I’m not sure if i was just over reading into this or if it wasn’t important to the story. As well I felt there was similar word choice at the beginning of each dialogue and maybe you can switch a couple of the description words or I wasn’t sure if this was just intended. I felt the characters worked really well together, thoughtful dialogue and it made the story flow really easily. I feel like as the reader you jump into the story really fast. Overall your story was very enjoyable to read and the characters were very interesting and fit together so well especially with the dialogue you are doing a really good job!

Journal 16:

Peer Review: 

    “Allan Nash”

Really cool idea of having so many layers within the plot. It felt so real to have so many things going on at once like selling papers, lessons of responsibility, family matters, friendships and the bike. The dialogue really had a good flow within your story and made the characters’ personalities easy to understand. You did a really good job of expressing the point of view from the characters and they really stand out in your story. The description words you used as well really brought out the tone of voices of each character. The one question I had is about the setting, When does this story take place and where? Is it in the south since you brought up the southern accent or does that only one character have a southern accent? The word choice you used definitely made it clearly that it was after WW2 but as well like what state. This might not be important but something I was wondering. Overall I think you did a really good job and really it held my attention as I was reading it.

    “White in the Snow” 

The concept of your story was super cool watching it unfold. I like the concept of a girl discovering herself, the relationship with her mom and the demons. I think you did a really good job of showing the characters age within your story and the emotions she has through her dialogue and the actions she takes. I really liked how you used the dialogue as well. It had a really good flow within your story and the descriptions you gave felt like you were in the story. You can tell the effort you put into the piece. The charters were so thought out and the relationship you created with the mom was so amazing. It felt very natural and not forced, and adding all the descriptions made it really come together. One thing I was a little confused on was what were the points and intentions of the demons, I’m not sure if I overlooked a certain section, but I felt the build up of tension between the mom and daughter but the demons. Overall you did a really good job. Compared to the first time I read it within class, you really took all your ideas about the emotions from Aleia and put them out onto the page. You really felt her frustration and emotions within the short story! 

Journal 17:

Peer Review:

    “Overboard”

This story is about a captain who is very determined in goals that results in the crew having to take the impacts of the revenge that captain seeks. I really liked how you jumped right into the story and did not just write an opening that would leave the audience confused or wouldn’t relate later into the story. The jump right into action made the story so interesting to begin with and lead into an even bigger build up for the ending. The characters were really well rounded and had a lot of depth to them. I think the dialogue and actions really expressed the interests they all had. The plot was filled with action and I felt there were no moments in the story that you could really cut out. The imagery and going back into past events like flashbacks really fit into the story and made the ambitions of the caption a lot more clear. I really liked your ending of the story, I felt the build up within the story to this moment of the captions emotions and struggles just to accomplish revenge. The emotions were very clear within the story and I think the fact pace really heightens the emotions for the reader. One thing I was confused on was when Alina was in her cabin for so long without anyone checking in on her, it kind of shows the crew doesn’t really care. I’m not sure if this was on purpose or if I missed a part about her saying to leave her alone, but other than that I think you did a really good job!

    “Bereaved” 

This story is about the loss of a woman’s husband that drives her to go to the extremes of hunting the creature that killed her husband. I really like the build up within your story. I think it played well into the tension within horror. I felt like the pace changed when it reached the scary part that heightened the tension. I think you did a really good job with the build up throughout the story and individual parts. The descriptions and imagery as well really added to the story. It felt like you were there. I as well like how you made the thoughts of the characters clear, I felt like I knew why Abigail was doing certain things which made you like you had a conversion with the character. Like the details about the husband were super helpful to understand her feelings and actions. I also  liked how there was not a lot of dialogue in your writing. I felt like the description you gave truly made the story come to life. Like how you described the monster gave me such imagery like I was there looking at him. I thought the story was a lot deeper reading it the second time compared to the first time such as the domestic values but as the survival from the father.  I only saw the survival side of her reading it though the first time because she was after this monster. One thing I was confused about was why was the monster children only brought up at the end, did I misread something on this or looked into it too much because I was looking for more about the children but wasn’t able to find anything. Overall I thought you did a fantastic job!

Journal 18:

Peer Review: 

    “#1 Dad”

This story is about a father who is trying to do the best for his son but is grieving the loss of his wife. He is trying to work on being his amazing single parent and pushing himself to have the mental state that he has to be the best. I really like the comparisons throughout the story. The main character compares himself not only in the ranking but to how his wife could do so much of a better job than him, like buying healthier foods. I also like how the character was very realistic. You can tell he tries his best for his child but is as well not happy with certain parts of his life like his job. He had pictured what he wanted with his wife but once his wife passed away it seems that he doesn’t have other ambitions of living on a huge piece of land and gets his confidence through his rankings. I also like the repetition of the wife, it gives us a sense of what she is like and how much he thinks of her throughout the day. I was a little confused on what the ranks were for however. Like is he ranked against other fathers and it is a comparison of who is the best father. I’m not sure if this is an important aspect of the story or if I just missed it but I was thinking about it whenever the rankings were talked about. Overall I think you did a really good job and this felt like such a real story. 

    “Cracking the Case”

This story is about an FBI agent who is an older man that has help from his grandson and daughter about a case that he has been wanting to crack for a while now. I love the relationship you created between the grandson and grandfather. I was a little confused on why the mom decided to put her father in the nursing room when it seems that he has such a huge relationship with her son. Is it because she might have some built up anger that he was so involved in his career as she was growing up as a child? But then why would she help with the case? I think your plot all really connected well and the story was very clear to understand. As well I like the differences of the characters and how they all fit together within the story which adds some tension to the story. Overall a really good job. 

Journal 19:

Peer Review 

    “Unfulfilled History”

This story is about Eren who is a part of this journey throughout this world you have created. I wanted to bring up the dialog within your story. I thought the dialog added so many details about the characters’ personalities and really tied it together with some of the main ideas within the plot and connections to the end of the story. I like how we have an understanding of Eren’s thoughts but as well the conversations with the many other characters. I felt like this story had this huge plot and so many ideas with building up the characters and the details with setting and world building that you kind of ran out of room and the ending got a bit confusing. I think adding more descriptions of what the setting would look like would help the reader grasp and understand the story’s flow a lot better. I questions really apply to what the setting looks like and the creatures in some parts within the story. Overall a really good job.

    “Phoenix Calling”

This story is about two teenagers who have a special bond when they arrive on Earth and grasp their powers. They have this connection to the alien who arrives on the same night and things start to change. One thing that really stands out to me is the build up in your story.  I feel that everything in your short story had a meaning and each part connected to the timeframe and gives little details about the characters. I really liked the dialog. I think the dialog showed the dynamic of the characters and their bond. I think the dialog felt natural and that you would hear a similar conversation in real life. I think having this connection made the story very sweet and innocent. I think it drove the story to have more of an understanding with the powers and alien. Something I was confused about was the alien. I think you should add some more details about her and how she was on Earth the same day. I’m not sure if I missed this but it was something I was thinking about while reading it. Overall I think this was an amazing story. 

Journal 20:

Peer Review 

    “Lady of Justice”

This story is about women who is reaching for her personal peace of mind or revenge after she was raped at a younger age. She looks for justice within the situation of hands on dealing with a way to make him pay for what he has done and a form of growth. I really enjoyed the dialogue within your story between the characters talking to each other but as well I liked moving from different characters points of views within their thoughts. I feel like this expresses a lot of character motives and it makes them come to life. The characters also play off of each other so well because their actions come from such different interests of heart. One thing I was a bit confused about and had a question about was how she expresses that life was her own again but then calls 911. I understand that it was her dying wish but she seems to understand how to plan this out so she doesn’t get caught and she might have something else to live for. I however really liked your ending. I thought it tied everything together so well. This was a super interesting story, good job. 

Journal 21:

Peer Review 

    “Like a Fish in Water”

This short story is about a girl who is coming in and out of fantasy within her life. This story made me think a lot about “Alice In Wonderland” with the common themes of hallucinations. I really liked this story and it was definitely interesting to read. I really liked how you transitioned into reality and her fantasy world. The transitions helped keep the reader interested and not as confused with the jumps. I really enjoyed your descriptions as well. They really brought the story together and made you feel like you were in the story. I as well liked the voice used, it came across clear to me reading it the first time of her thoughts and personality. One thing I was a little confused about was how angry she got with the Queen. I think you should add some more context on the hate she has to her and why. Overall I think you did a really good job!

    “Uzume the Seamstress”

This is the story of a seamstress and how she is trying to connect her family. I really liked how this story had such a focus on one person and the loyalty and love she has for them in different aspects. The tension was clear in this story and really came out within the dialog. I think understanding the characters so well leads to getting into the tension and each character’s different points of view. I think all the characters were developed really well and the time you set this in really shows how people in this era felt about family. One thing I wanted a little more was Uzumes parents and their relationship. I also liked how this was set in Japan and I think It made the story have different elements. Overall I liked your story and you did a great job!

Journal 22:

    This chapter talks about revision. Revision can be seen as a different type of process for everyone. Something that I found hard was being able to understand to leave something alone and the mindset to go back to it. I personally like to work by the paragraph and to keep a common theme in the paragraph. Revision can be seen differently for each person but something each person should look for is asking for help. Asking someone to read what you wrote allows a different mindset. Asking the person to understand your point of view and to try to find the theme and different points in the story. A different point of view may allow you to experience what the reader is grasping and what they have missed that you should make more clear as the writer. There needs to be a balance between the editors and writer, someone may never connect and understand your work and you need to find the compromise. Writers grow with their revision process. The vision the writer has to make a compromise with the vision of the editor. Having someone challenge the writing is something to look for within this process. We have to accept criticism and understand the different points of view and learn to understand the different ways of recognizing different ways we want to accept and use information within our writing. 

Journal 23:

    After completing the first writing workshop I have a completely different view on the writing process. This has been my first time being a part of a writing workshop and it has been super helpful. Coming into this class I felt nervous about sharing my work and hoping I would keep up with the rest of the class but I came to terms with everyone having a different style of writing and each is amazing in their own different ways. I always felt that each sentence should be perfect before I continue writing but now I focus on getting my ideas down before working on each individual sentence and finding different ways to go back and improve on my work. The writing workshop allowed me to hear what other people suggested in the class. It made me really think about how I can improve on my personal writing piece and as well aspects that people really enjoyed. I also really liked the aspect of how other people interpreted my story. It made me think about the different points of views from the reader compared to the writer. I really enjoyed this process and was excited to hear about everyone’s next story’s. 

Journal 24:

Peer Review:

“Save the Cat”   

This story is about a talking cat and the relationship with the boy. This story expresses the theme of friendship in such a fun way. The characters were all developed especially with the theme of changes, jealousy and the way people express different emotions with other people or cats in this story. The dialogue really caught my attention and how well it fit in with the overall flow of the story. I thought everything in the story really tied in with the theme. There weren’t many parts that felt like they just didn’t fit in or a change of pace. Something I was a little confused on was the FBI agent and the role of this character in the story. Overall this was such a cute story and it held my attention reading it really well. I did not have many points of confusion. 

    “Odontogenesis”

This story is about a girl who seems to be living in a horror story and changes directions within her life to help herself. This story was so cool to read. I created a picture in my head of what I imagined everything to look like. I love how your writing is so descriptive, it makes it so enjoyable for a reader to create their own picture of what is happening. I really enjoyed all the context you gave us in this story. It was like I had a question and then in the next couple of sentences I would have an answer for it. Something I was a little confused on was why she wanted to become a vampire? Overall I thought this was such a cool story and really made me feel like I was watching a movie!

Journal 25:

Peer Review:

    “Calling Out Into the Night”

This story is about a girl who went to her dad’s old woodland and after trying to make her father happy for so long she finds out some weird things. The voice throughout this story was extremely consistent. It felt so suspenseful and I enjoyed the unmoving parts. I really liked how you made your main character so round, the backstory really helped us portray who she is and her motives. The descriptions were very visual as well, especially with the woods. Something I was a little confused about was what she does for a living. There was a lot of the plot that led into this but never explained. Overall I think you did a great job!

    “Frank and Huckleberry” 

This story is about a man who fought in the war, he has a hard time shifting back into a different lifestyle. He goes out one day and encounters a zoo and it leads to many frustrations to be let out. I think you really did a great job with the language used in this story. I also liked the interactions that were used. The story has a natural good flow to it and it felt very realistic. The emotion felt very raw as well. The narrator’s descriptions of these thoughts and feelings were very clear, especially with the monkey. However I think something I would like to see more of was the hatred towards Huckleberry. I would really like it if there was more of a backstory. Overall, a really cool story!

Journal 26:

Peer Review:

    “The Long Winter”

This story is about a man who is in the middle of this long winter. He is fighting monsters while holding on his shoulders the safety of his whole village and wife. The descriptions within this story are amazing. It really painted out what the monsters looked like as well and this village in the middle of this brutal winter. I think the dialog you had in it was very good and strong. Something I wish we saw more of was these dialogues and relationships. I wish you went more into the relationship with the wife. I think it would help us understand the main character’s motives better. The story had really good flow especially with the foreshadowing. Overall nice job!

    “The Whole World is Waiting”

This story is about a man who is very relatable with changes that happen in his life, some that may upset him like a break up or some that allow him to open up more like new friendships. I really like the character development in this story such as how our main character starts off ever isolated then moves towards being surrounded by close relationships. I would really like to see more of the growth of character development through dialogue as well. Something I was a little confused about was Derek’s last relationship and why him and Anna can not get back together. Overall great story!

Journal 27:

Peer Review: 

    “Live: The Denver Defenders Told From a Fresh Perspective” 

This story is about a group of superheroes that aren’t very super. This story was super fun! To start off I really liked the voice in this story. It added so much of a sense of comedy! As well the characters were all so well developed in the sense of a total with the narrator. I would love to see more builds of connections with that. I especially liked how so many flaws were pointed out it made it much more interesting and realistic. Something I was confused about was the villain and the motives behind their actions. I think that would add some more connections within your story. Overall this story was super fun and unique, really good job!

    “Sea foam”

This story is about an arranged marriage to happen from the Gods however a twist happens when the Sea nymph falls in love with a human. The characters were all nicely developed and really fit in the plot so well. It had a really nice flow. As well there was so much attention to little details within the dialog and details in the background and setting. It really made it come to life. The ending was so bittersweet. The only part I had a little confusion on was the curse. I didn’t really have any questions, the story was a super nice read where you didnt feel the need to go back and reread sections. Overall this super was super cute and an enjoyable read. Great job!

Journal 28:

Peer Review: 

    “Surviving the Day” 

This story is about a woman who is struggling to make it through life with many obstacles in her way such as a robbery. I really like the voice in this piece. It is strong and consistent throughout the whole story. I also think you put a lot of strong details into this story. There is a consistent flow and you make it very clear with knowledge of knowing flashbacks and the present. It was a super interesting story to read and you did a really good job of showing and not telling! I thought the characters were super strong and well supported with different motives. Something I was confused on was the relationships between the characters like Mad Dog, they went down with him and a lot of tension with chains. I would love more background on this to clear it up. Overall amazing job!

“Twinkie Boy”

This story is about survival and how twinkies played a role in this. This short story had such a huge comedic impact. The narration and the story line involved many funny moments which really stood out to me and made a huge impact on how I read the story especially with everything going on in the background with global warming. The character development was really eye opening and you used lots of good details to help give descriptions and motives on the characters. Something I was a little confused on was the ending. Overall, a really good job!

Journal 29:

Peer review: 

My week of writing 

Journal 30:

The short story “Rain Flooding Your Campfire” is a good example of intertextual dialogue between writers with Carver’s “Cathedral”. Both story’s express growth and development within their story’s differently from the same experience. Some similarities are first person narrator, setting and the plot. However there are many differences such as narrators with different points of view and I felt a different message within the story. Within Gallaghers story there was a stronger connection between the characters present in the story and we saw different character development. I like how this was written from a different perspective and used details from “Cathedral” to connect the story’s in a way. As the audience we got to see this short story in a different light and different perspective of the characters. I especially liked how we saw many of the struggles from this point of view and went more into the relationships. I really enjoyed reading it and viewing the similarities and differences within this story. 

Journal 31:

When asked what advice I would give someone taking this course in the future I think about development. Coming into this class I have taken writing classes before but nothing on writing short fiction. Taking this class I focused on the personal development I have made for myself. Working on personal development and working with the feedback provided will allow your ideas to be more simple and understand clear language that is understood by others. Knowing that not everything is going to be perfect, there will be bumps in your writing that you might feel like you looked at your paper for hours. Which is hard for a perfectionist like myself. However when your work is finally done you will understand when revision comes next. Be open minded coming into this class and understand everyone is paying attention to details. There is no definition of what makes good writing material and everyone has a different point of view and interest. I learned so much not just about writing short fiction but what happens in a writing workshop, and overall gaining confidence in these skills.