Marissa Fedor

Draft 1

Escape

Reality 

The doorbell rings as the pizza man arrives at the front door. As my mother jumps up rapidly walking to open the door, she has a sweet smile and greets the delivery driver. Suddenly she turns around to hear a bang. A book slams on our cold dinner table. A deep voice yells to “get this book off my table”. I am startled by this quick action. I glance across the room to my mother with a blank face while she quickly hands the money to the delivery driver and proceeds to say have a nice day with a ten dollar tip. She then closes the door firmly and continues to storm over to the dinner table. My sister Heather rolled her eyes, I can tell she wished she was born into a different family. 

My mother firmly says, ”do not raise your voice at the dinner table, Alex” as she aggressively snatches the book and removes it from the dinner table. She then proceeds to glare at my sister and states she “just wants to have a nice family dinner for once”. At this moment I wished the same but instead, I flapped my arms in frustration as my stomach growled. 

 The table got quiet, no one spoke the rest of the dinner. My thoughts filled my brain of what I would say if I could. By the time I could come up with a response or something to spark a conversation our paper dishes were getting thrown into the trash bin and I silently put my head down and departed the room. I went to my room to find peace, the walls were a light blue and it had pictures on the walls. The pictures contained places I wanted to travel and quotes that inspired me to get out of my comfortable full size bed each day. I had string lights along the ceiling so I could turn off my ceiling light and enjoy the peaceful environment. My room is my happy place, my safe place, the place where I always resort to when I need a break from reality. I felt reality wasn’t fair, I questioned why god had favorites and why I wasn’t one of them. I turn to my wheelchair to look at myself. I saw a hot pink wheelchair and nothing else.  I like to pretend that I don’t see that hot pink wheelchair by writing in my journal as an escape from the truth. I can spend hours just sitting at my desk writing about having my own perfect life where I was considered normal within this society. As the night gets later I hear a knock on my door. I see my mom quietly walk in, she calmly says “ It’s time to go to bed sweetheart”. 

Reality 

“Gracie, it’s time to get up!” my mother Laura yells at me.

My mother seems to be in a sensitive and frustrated mood especially since dad had to go into work early this morning. She is darting around the hallway in her purple bathrobe with rollers in her hair, eye cream still on her face from sleeping with it last night. She tripped over her fuzzy yellow slipper, which got chewed on and covered in drool. She screamed, “Oh my goodness! I cannot believe you’ve done this!!” Looking at Oscar, our French Bulldog. I heard the floorboards creak as my mom rushed to prepare herself for the day. A few minutes later my mother then walked into my bedroom. She looked like her normal self with blond curls and light  brown eyeshadow that completed her hazel eyes that sparkled when the sun hit them at the right angle. She wore a white sundress with a scattered light yellow sunflower pattern. She opened the blinds in my bedroom to reveal what a stormy day it is, as she then helped me out of bed to get me prepared for the long day ahead. Once I get situated in my wheelchair I head to the bathroom to do my hair and makeup and freshen up for school. I love doing my hair and makeup just like my mom. It gives me the slight feeling of confidence where I can control what I don’t want to be seen, my bed head, my ugly pimples and pale skin. I could look in the mirror for hours and try to cover up my flaws. I pound blush on my face till it looks like I went to Florida for a week and put concealer on each bright red mark on my face. I proceeded to head over to my room to pick out an outfit for the day. It was warm but rainy, hot but windy. I throw all my clothes on the ground trying each one on and looking in the mirror hyper focused on if I should wear a cropped tank top or a sweatshirt. I looked into the mirror with the tank top concentrated. I thought about what the other girls would be wearing and finally just threw on that basic black zip up hoodie over the tank top. I went on social media to see if any girls posted what they were wearing today and saw Heather’s outfit as she walked past my door. I slumped into my wheelchair as she wore a green crop top and jeans. I went to the escalator on the stairs to go downstairs to eat breakfast and all I thought about was how nothing can ever go my way. 

“I made you waffles, bacon, and scrambled eggs”, my mother tells me as I enter the kitchen. She tries to create that perfect family life but it’s something we don’t have. 

My mother always makes me breakfast before school and prepares me lunch to eat throughout the day. I think she knows deep down that doing something special for me may brighten up my day but at this point it doesn’t seem special, it seems forced. As I eat my breakfast I look over at the clock, my heart begins to pound and I feel like I am going to be sick. It’s like my face turns green with goosebumps down my arms. School is torturous for me because all day I feel lonely and get judged by my classmates. It’s like they see me as an alien with purple skin and three eyes. As I pound down the rest of my breakfast and the clocks’ ticking is reaching 7:15am, my mother gets me my shoes and helps put them on so we can leave for school and be there thirty minutes before school starts at 8:00am. We get into her car as she drives Heather and I to school. I look out the window on this dreadful day and watch the cars drive by and wonder what they are doing today, wondering who I would want to switch lives with.  

On the way to school Heather asks if she can get coffee before we get to school and my mother says, “you are too young to be drinking coffee honey”, while she giggled. 

Heather does not like being told no so she rolled her eyes and sighed. As we pull up to the front of the building I get out of the car and make my hands in the shape of a heart. Making my way to class I always follow the same path each time. I like to enter the building and take the first hallway on the left hand side and use the elevator in the back of the school to avoid seeing people and having to interact with anyone.

*Ring ring ring ring ring ring*

    Class one begins and I am placed within an inclusion setting classroom, which allows one class to introduce me to singing the ABCs while in the other class I’m told to find the value of “x”. This is due to my disability and not my actual knowledge. My first class I’m placed in a general education setting with an education technician. I hate Ms. Ruth, she treats me like a five year old and I would rather be in the classroom without her. I turn my head for one minute and she taps on the table for me to pay attention while this kid Jimmy in my class could be sleeping and she wouldn’t even bat an eye. Without taking Ms. Ruth into consideration this is my favorite class. My actual English teacher Ms.Thomas is super cool, she is a tall woman with dark deep brown hair that just hits her shoulders, always wearing a long skirt and her red glasses. Ms. Thomas asked “ Hey, class I hope you all enjoyed your weekend! Today we are going to jump right into popcorn reading”. The class looked at her blankly, she read the first sentence and then called on a smart, shy girl named Lily. She read with her face down to the book with a melancholy voice and called on her friend Jamie. This continued till it reached a boy named Frank, he was the class clown. 

“ Popcorn to Gracie” Frank laughs looking at the other boys in the class.

Ms. Thomas raised her voice “go to the office, this behavior is not acceptable in class” She looks over to me with grief written on her face. I feel that all eyes and attention are on me. 

The bell is five minutes away from ringing so without my education technician tapping on my desk, I push my wheelchair out from the desk and make my way into the rainbow room. This is what I call my special education room where it’s filled with lots of bright colors and cartoon characters on the wall smiling at you, it makes me wanna scream. I slam my journal on my desk and start to write my thoughts down of a better version of my imperfect life: 

Fiction/Fantasy

“Gracie, it’s time for school ” my mother Laura calls out in a sweet tone.

My mother seems to be in her normal mood. She made coffee with my step dad Greg . She tiptoed upstairs into the hallway in her purple bathrobe. Her hair was already curled, and her makeup was fresh from just an hour ago. She looked refreshed and as if she just came back from a weekend retreat from the spa. She slipped on her fuzzy yellow slippers while she was getting dressed while my dog Oscar was sleeping on her bed. I heard the floorboards creak as my mom got dressed into an outfit. A few minutes later my mother then walked into my bedroom. She looked like her normal self with blond curls and light brown eyeshadow that completed her hazel eyes and sparkled when the sun hit them at the right angle. She wore a white sundress with a scattered light yellow sunflower pattern. She opened the blinds in my bedroom to reveal what a sunny day it is. She then says good morning with a smile and walks into Heather’s room. I needed a deep strength that cracked each bone in my body. I gently placed my toes on the ground and sprung up out of bed. I turned on my music and danced around in my fuzzy socks and headed my way into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and my beautiful skin was glowing in the light that is shining from my large window on this beautiful spring day.  I brushed out my long blond hair that revealed my curls that would wrap each framing my face, I washed my face then applied lotion. I looked in the mirror with peace. I was happy with my tan skin and thought I looked like my mom. My morning routine was short and easy.  I proceeded to head over to my room to pick out an outfit for the day. It was a beautiful day, all the flowers in the garden were blooming and the warm sun on my skin allowed me to feel warm but not overheat. I reached into my closet and grabbed a cropped green crop top and jeans. I looked into the mirror and jumped up with a smile. I went on social media to post a picture of what I was wearing today and walked out of my room and passed by Heather’s door. She slumped into her pink wheelchair wearing a basic black zip up hoodie and black leggings. I proceeded to walk and smile at her. I made my way down the stairs walking from toe to heel listening to the creaks the stairs made. Downstairs in the kitchen my mom prepared breakfast. 

“I made you waffles, bacon, and scrambled eggs”, my mother tells me as I enter the kitchen.  

I responded “ Thank you so much mom but I think I might actually take the bus today if that’s ok”

“Of course Sweetheart as she throws me a granola bar” She smiled sweetly 

As I ate my granola bar I slowly walked outside. I pick up my phone to look at the time, I feel a rush of adrenaline. I walk to the front of our driveway and watch the long yellow bus pull forward. The doors open on both sides as I walk in and I am surrounded by all different conversations. My heart begins to pound until I hear my name being called. 

“ Gracie, Gracie I’m sitting in the back” spoken loudly from Lily

“Oh hi Lily” I said as I sat down next to her

“So have you heard about Nate and Cassie” Lily giggled 

I quickly turned my head and said “ No, I need to know what happened” I jumped within my seat 

The bus was filled with gossip about what boys are going to ask you to the next school dance and drama between the girls in the second block with me and Lily. I could talk forever about all the gossip and drama, I felt I knew everything about everyone without even having to say hi to them myself. 

I rolled my eyes as we approached the front of the school, I would much rather attend school without the work aspect. Lily and I walked in together through the main doors with the rest of the students. The students pushed and shoved each other making their ways to the lockers and classroom. Lily and I walked to class together today. Walking into the classroom it felt like all eyes were on me but when I turned around I saw my sister Heather in her hot pink wheelchair. I waved, but Heather had her head down and tried to move around the crowd in the hallway. I heard a classmate yell, “Nice wheels mute!” I continued to make my way into the room. 

*Ring ring ring ring ring ring*

My first class was English class with Ms.Thomas. She was a super cool teacher. She is tall and has dark deep brown hair that just reaches her shoulders, always wearing a long skirt and her red glasses. 

Ms. Thomas asked “ Hey, class I hope you all enjoyed your weekend! Today we are going to jump right into popcorn reading”. The class looked at her blankly, she read the first sentence and then called on Lily. She read with her face down to the book with a melancholy voice and called on her friend Jamie. This continued till it reached a boy named Frank, he was the class clown. 

“Popcorn to Gracie” Frank smiled 

I read the passage and called on another student. The class continued smoothly, filled with laughs after this activity. Math, lunch and Gym were left for the rest of the school day, then I have Field Hockey practice. Once in math class I am quickly reminded why math class passed by quickly. I sat with my friends and were paired together. We immediately talk about all those silly drama stories that go around the school. My group is the best, I am with two of my closest friends, Lily and Jaime. Our teacher Mr. Sawyer is an old man who used to teach statistics at several Universities. Mr. Sawyer is super nice and supportive and always gives me break time during class where I can talk and eat snacks and not do any school work. 

    “Gracie I want you to sit next to me at lunch today” Jaime looked up with a tiny smile on her face 

    Lily responded quickly, “No, I already made plans to sit next to Gracie!”

    I giggled and told them, “I can just sit in the middle of you guys!” and they were instantly relieved. My high school life was easy. The biggest issue I had was people fighting over me for lunch. On the way to lunch we stopped by the locker room to freshen up and drop our bags off before lunch. I always get the same thing for lunch, I get a yogurt, salad, and apple, and top it all off with a bag of blue ranch doritos. I look over to Jaime and Lily and whisper “ I think we should skip gym” 

At the same time we all looked at each other and smiled and started laughing.   We agreed that it was a waste of time. It’s not like we had someone watching over our shoulder we joked about. 

Before the bell would ring we ran to our lockers. We went to the senior hall way and walked out with the group that was able to have early dismissal. We tried to play it cool but as soon as we passed Security we bolted out in tears and laughed. 

“Gracie” A woman’s voice called out in the distance 

I turned around quickly after I heard it and saw no one. 

Reality 

“Gracie”

*no response*

I felt a tap on my shoulder, I looked up and it was Ms. Ruth 

Ms. Ruth said in a soft voice “Lovie it’s time to go home”

I picked my head up and saw the bright yellow color on the wall that blinded me. I turned my head over to Ms. Ruth. I saw she was wearing a blue happy face shirt and pink pants. I thought how it didn’t suit her fire truck red hair and freckles. She was a short lady with the most cranky voice that made me wish I was deaf. I instantly slumped into my wheelchair and let her drag me into the car. I saw Heather already in the car twirling her hair. She was telling mom how great her day was and how she was excited for her Softball game later in the day and all her plans for the weekend. I sat in the back of the car and put my headphones on and blasted music. Once we arrived home I instantly made my way to sit on the couch.    

I fell into the couch with a tear coming down my cheeks. The house was in chaos and no one ever noticed me. I screamed on the inside. I threw myself off the couch to see how long it would take for someone to notice me. My father walked in complaining about work,

Heather’s friends walked in as a group giggling about the newest drama all while my mom ran around the kitchen preparing snacks as the dog barked for a piece of pepperoni. All walked past me while I cried silently on a rug in the living room. I hated life. I wonder why I have this life filled with no friends and no one to count. I felt that friends made your school experience, your life socially and made you happy. I wasn’t happy I wanted to throw myself out of my window. I craved wanting someone to see me being the main star in my own life when I’m rather the kid you see on the television commercial when people want you to donate money. I saw Heather approaching me. I looked over and saw her eyeing at me then a second later my journal. I called out a noise of pain to grab her attention, instead she reached her hand out in a different direction. My journal was left on the coach. Heather picked up my book and dropped it on the ground with a face or horror and ran to give it to our father. I turned it over and it was a picture of our family. One of our Christmas photos we take each year. The photos have cut out heads. The body’s were replaced on us with Heather sitting in my pink wheelchair while I was standing on legs. 

Fiction 

Heather picked up my book and dropped it on the ground with a face of horror and ran to give it to our father. I turned it over and it was a picture of our family. One of our Christmas photos we take each year. The photos have cut out heads. The body’s were replaced on us with me sitting in my pink wheelchair while Heather was standing on legs.

Likes: 

• Split up a bit more Fiction 
• Likes the approach 
• Likes the sister part having the disabilities 
• Solid writing voice understands the world I created. At the end of a paragraph my lines come across strongly. 
• Craft skills were strong 
• Creating the charter with a depth 
• Like how the day repeats great human nature 
• Like the appearance 
• Likes the interactions with friends 
• Likes how the “class went smoothly” 
• Descriptions 
• Emotion filled putting us in their shoes 
• PG 10 

Suggestion 

• Less explaining less the “ i felt” 
• Does she hate the sister ( Add some Jealous moments) Flesh out background 
• Be more consistent: Like add the car element like a lift ( how it affects every aspect) Show the struggle 
• Need more stuff on the parent 
• Ending didn’t need the fiction part took away from the part 
• Need for clarification on other things in the life -> like add a girl trying to give her a note and she doesn’t get it 
• World seems to curl 
• Want a way to communicate 
• Split them up
• Needs more foreshadowing with sister and Dad 
•  More friends in reality like what is going on with them-> 
• More transitions with the journals s

Marissa Fedor

Draft 1

Escape

Reality 

The doorbell rings as the pizza man arrives at the front door. As my mother jumps up rapidly walking to open the door, she has a sweet smile and greets the delivery driver. Suddenly she turns around to hear a bang. A book slams on our cold dinner table. A deep voice yells to “get this book off my table”. I am startled by this quick action. I glance across the room to my mother with a blank face while she quickly hands the money to the delivery driver and proceeds to say have a nice day with a ten dollar tip. She then closes the door firmly and continues to storm over to the dinner table. My sister Heather rolled her eyes, I can tell she wished she was born into a different family. 

My mother firmly says, ”do not raise your voice at the dinner table, Alex” as she aggressively snatches the book and removes it from the dinner table. She then proceeds to glare at my sister and states she “just wants to have a nice family dinner for once”. At this moment I wished the same but instead, I flapped my arms in frustration as my stomach growled. 

 The table got quiet, no one spoke the rest of the dinner. My thoughts filled my brain of what I would say if I could. By the time I could come up with a response or something to spark a conversation our paper dishes were getting thrown into the trash bin and I silently put my head down and departed the room. I went to my room to find peace, the walls were a light blue and it had pictures on the walls. The pictures contained places I wanted to travel and quotes that inspired me to get out of my comfortable full size bed each day. I had string lights along the ceiling so I could turn off my ceiling light and enjoy the peaceful environment. My room is my happy place, my safe place, the place where I always resort to when I need a break from reality. I felt reality wasn’t fair, I questioned why god had favorites and why I wasn’t one of them. I turn to my wheelchair to look at myself. I saw a hot pink wheelchair and nothing else.  I like to pretend that I don’t see that hot pink wheelchair by writing in my journal as an escape from the truth. I can spend hours just sitting at my desk writing about having my own perfect life where I was considered normal within this society. As the night gets later I hear a knock on my door. I see my mom quietly walk in, she calmly says “ It’s time to go to bed sweetheart”. 

Reality 

“Gracie, it’s time to get up!” my mother Laura yells at me.

My mother seems to be in a sensitive and frustrated mood especially since dad had to go into work early this morning. She is darting around the hallway in her purple bathrobe with rollers in her hair, eye cream still on her face from sleeping with it last night. She tripped over her fuzzy yellow slipper, which got chewed on and covered in drool. She screamed, “Oh my goodness! I cannot believe you’ve done this!!” Looking at Oscar, our French Bulldog. I heard the floorboards creak as my mom rushed to prepare herself for the day. A few minutes later my mother then walked into my bedroom. She looked like her normal self with blond curls and light  brown eyeshadow that completed her hazel eyes that sparkled when the sun hit them at the right angle. She wore a white sundress with a scattered light yellow sunflower pattern. She opened the blinds in my bedroom to reveal what a stormy day it is, as she then helped me out of bed to get me prepared for the long day ahead. Once I get situated in my wheelchair I head to the bathroom to do my hair and makeup and freshen up for school. I love doing my hair and makeup just like my mom. It gives me the slight feeling of confidence where I can control what I don’t want to be seen, my bed head, my ugly pimples and pale skin. I could look in the mirror for hours and try to cover up my flaws. I pound blush on my face till it looks like I went to Florida for a week and put concealer on each bright red mark on my face. I proceeded to head over to my room to pick out an outfit for the day. It was warm but rainy, hot but windy. I throw all my clothes on the ground trying each one on and looking in the mirror hyper focused on if I should wear a cropped tank top or a sweatshirt. I looked into the mirror with the tank top concentrated. I thought about what the other girls would be wearing and finally just threw on that basic black zip up hoodie over the tank top. I went on social media to see if any girls posted what they were wearing today and saw Heather’s outfit as she walked past my door. I slumped into my wheelchair as she wore a green crop top and jeans. I went to the escalator on the stairs to go downstairs to eat breakfast and all I thought about was how nothing can ever go my way. 

“I made you waffles, bacon, and scrambled eggs”, my mother tells me as I enter the kitchen. She tries to create that perfect family life but it’s something we don’t have. 

My mother always makes me breakfast before school and prepares me lunch to eat throughout the day. I think she knows deep down that doing something special for me may brighten up my day but at this point it doesn’t seem special, it seems forced. As I eat my breakfast I look over at the clock, my heart begins to pound and I feel like I am going to be sick. It’s like my face turns green with goosebumps down my arms. School is torturous for me because all day I feel lonely and get judged by my classmates. It’s like they see me as an alien with purple skin and three eyes. As I pound down the rest of my breakfast and the clocks’ ticking is reaching 7:15am, my mother gets me my shoes and helps put them on so we can leave for school and be there thirty minutes before school starts at 8:00am. We get into her car as she drives Heather and I to school. I look out the window on this dreadful day and watch the cars drive by and wonder what they are doing today, wondering who I would want to switch lives with.  

On the way to school Heather asks if she can get coffee before we get to school and my mother says, “you are too young to be drinking coffee honey”, while she giggled. 

Heather does not like being told no so she rolled her eyes and sighed. As we pull up to the front of the building I get out of the car and make my hands in the shape of a heart. Making my way to class I always follow the same path each time. I like to enter the building and take the first hallway on the left hand side and use the elevator in the back of the school to avoid seeing people and having to interact with anyone.

*Ring ring ring ring ring ring*

    Class one begins and I am placed within an inclusion setting classroom, which allows one class to introduce me to singing the ABCs while in the other class I’m told to find the value of “x”. This is due to my disability and not my actual knowledge. My first class I’m placed in a general education setting with an education technician. I hate Ms. Ruth, she treats me like a five year old and I would rather be in the classroom without her. I turn my head for one minute and she taps on the table for me to pay attention while this kid Jimmy in my class could be sleeping and she wouldn’t even bat an eye. Without taking Ms. Ruth into consideration this is my favorite class. My actual English teacher Ms.Thomas is super cool, she is a tall woman with dark deep brown hair that just hits her shoulders, always wearing a long skirt and her red glasses. Ms. Thomas asked “ Hey, class I hope you all enjoyed your weekend! Today we are going to jump right into popcorn reading”. The class looked at her blankly, she read the first sentence and then called on a smart, shy girl named Lily. She read with her face down to the book with a melancholy voice and called on her friend Jamie. This continued till it reached a boy named Frank, he was the class clown. 

“ Popcorn to Gracie” Frank laughs looking at the other boys in the class.

Ms. Thomas raised her voice “go to the office, this behavior is not acceptable in class” She looks over to me with grief written on her face. I feel that all eyes and attention are on me. 

The bell is five minutes away from ringing so without my education technician tapping on my desk, I push my wheelchair out from the desk and make my way into the rainbow room. This is what I call my special education room where it’s filled with lots of bright colors and cartoon characters on the wall smiling at you, it makes me wanna scream. I slam my journal on my desk and start to write my thoughts down of a better version of my imperfect life: 

Fiction/Fantasy

“Gracie, it’s time for school ” my mother Laura calls out in a sweet tone.

My mother seems to be in her normal mood. She made coffee with my step dad Greg . She tiptoed upstairs into the hallway in her purple bathrobe. Her hair was already curled, and her makeup was fresh from just an hour ago. She looked refreshed and as if she just came back from a weekend retreat from the spa. She slipped on her fuzzy yellow slippers while she was getting dressed while my dog Oscar was sleeping on her bed. I heard the floorboards creak as my mom got dressed into an outfit. A few minutes later my mother then walked into my bedroom. She looked like her normal self with blond curls and light brown eyeshadow that completed her hazel eyes and sparkled when the sun hit them at the right angle. She wore a white sundress with a scattered light yellow sunflower pattern. She opened the blinds in my bedroom to reveal what a sunny day it is. She then says good morning with a smile and walks into Heather’s room. I needed a deep strength that cracked each bone in my body. I gently placed my toes on the ground and sprung up out of bed. I turned on my music and danced around in my fuzzy socks and headed my way into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror and my beautiful skin was glowing in the light that is shining from my large window on this beautiful spring day.  I brushed out my long blond hair that revealed my curls that would wrap each framing my face, I washed my face then applied lotion. I looked in the mirror with peace. I was happy with my tan skin and thought I looked like my mom. My morning routine was short and easy.  I proceeded to head over to my room to pick out an outfit for the day. It was a beautiful day, all the flowers in the garden were blooming and the warm sun on my skin allowed me to feel warm but not overheat. I reached into my closet and grabbed a cropped green crop top and jeans. I looked into the mirror and jumped up with a smile. I went on social media to post a picture of what I was wearing today and walked out of my room and passed by Heather’s door. She slumped into her pink wheelchair wearing a basic black zip up hoodie and black leggings. I proceeded to walk and smile at her. I made my way down the stairs walking from toe to heel listening to the creaks the stairs made. Downstairs in the kitchen my mom prepared breakfast. 

“I made you waffles, bacon, and scrambled eggs”, my mother tells me as I enter the kitchen.  

I responded “ Thank you so much mom but I think I might actually take the bus today if that’s ok”

“Of course Sweetheart as she throws me a granola bar” She smiled sweetly 

As I ate my granola bar I slowly walked outside. I pick up my phone to look at the time, I feel a rush of adrenaline. I walk to the front of our driveway and watch the long yellow bus pull forward. The doors open on both sides as I walk in and I am surrounded by all different conversations. My heart begins to pound until I hear my name being called. 

“ Gracie, Gracie I’m sitting in the back” spoken loudly from Lily

“Oh hi Lily” I said as I sat down next to her

“So have you heard about Nate and Cassie” Lily giggled 

I quickly turned my head and said “ No, I need to know what happened” I jumped within my seat 

The bus was filled with gossip about what boys are going to ask you to the next school dance and drama between the girls in the second block with me and Lily. I could talk forever about all the gossip and drama, I felt I knew everything about everyone without even having to say hi to them myself. 

I rolled my eyes as we approached the front of the school, I would much rather attend school without the work aspect. Lily and I walked in together through the main doors with the rest of the students. The students pushed and shoved each other making their ways to the lockers and classroom. Lily and I walked to class together today. Walking into the classroom it felt like all eyes were on me but when I turned around I saw my sister Heather in her hot pink wheelchair. I waved, but Heather had her head down and tried to move around the crowd in the hallway. I heard a classmate yell, “Nice wheels mute!” I continued to make my way into the room. 

*Ring ring ring ring ring ring*

My first class was English class with Ms.Thomas. She was a super cool teacher. She is tall and has dark deep brown hair that just reaches her shoulders, always wearing a long skirt and her red glasses. 

Ms. Thomas asked “ Hey, class I hope you all enjoyed your weekend! Today we are going to jump right into popcorn reading”. The class looked at her blankly, she read the first sentence and then called on Lily. She read with her face down to the book with a melancholy voice and called on her friend Jamie. This continued till it reached a boy named Frank, he was the class clown. 

“Popcorn to Gracie” Frank smiled 

I read the passage and called on another student. The class continued smoothly, filled with laughs after this activity. Math, lunch and Gym were left for the rest of the school day, then I have Field Hockey practice. Once in math class I am quickly reminded why math class passed by quickly. I sat with my friends and were paired together. We immediately talk about all those silly drama stories that go around the school. My group is the best, I am with two of my closest friends, Lily and Jaime. Our teacher Mr. Sawyer is an old man who used to teach statistics at several Universities. Mr. Sawyer is super nice and supportive and always gives me break time during class where I can talk and eat snacks and not do any school work. 

    “Gracie I want you to sit next to me at lunch today” Jaime looked up with a tiny smile on her face 

    Lily responded quickly, “No, I already made plans to sit next to Gracie!”

    I giggled and told them, “I can just sit in the middle of you guys!” and they were instantly relieved. My high school life was easy. The biggest issue I had was people fighting over me for lunch. On the way to lunch we stopped by the locker room to freshen up and drop our bags off before lunch. I always get the same thing for lunch, I get a yogurt, salad, and apple, and top it all off with a bag of blue ranch doritos. I look over to Jaime and Lily and whisper “ I think we should skip gym” 

At the same time we all looked at each other and smiled and started laughing.   We agreed that it was a waste of time. It’s not like we had someone watching over our shoulder we joked about. 

Before the bell would ring we ran to our lockers. We went to the senior hall way and walked out with the group that was able to have early dismissal. We tried to play it cool but as soon as we passed Security we bolted out in tears and laughed. 

“Gracie” A woman’s voice called out in the distance 

I turned around quickly after I heard it and saw no one. 

Reality 

“Gracie”

*no response*

I felt a tap on my shoulder, I looked up and it was Ms. Ruth 

Ms. Ruth said in a soft voice “Lovie it’s time to go home”

I picked my head up and saw the bright yellow color on the wall that blinded me. I turned my head over to Ms. Ruth. I saw she was wearing a blue happy face shirt and pink pants. I thought how it didn’t suit her fire truck red hair and freckles. She was a short lady with the most cranky voice that made me wish I was deaf. I instantly slumped into my wheelchair and let her drag me into the car. I saw Heather already in the car twirling her hair. She was telling mom how great her day was and how she was excited for her Softball game later in the day and all her plans for the weekend. I sat in the back of the car and put my headphones on and blasted music. Once we arrived home I instantly made my way to sit on the couch.    

I fell into the couch with a tear coming down my cheeks. The house was in chaos and no one ever noticed me. I screamed on the inside. I threw myself off the couch to see how long it would take for someone to notice me. My father walked in complaining about work,

Heather’s friends walked in as a group giggling about the newest drama all while my mom ran around the kitchen preparing snacks as the dog barked for a piece of pepperoni. All walked past me while I cried silently on a rug in the living room. I hated life. I wonder why I have this life filled with no friends and no one to count. I felt that friends made your school experience, your life socially and made you happy. I wasn’t happy I wanted to throw myself out of my window. I craved wanting someone to see me being the main star in my own life when I’m rather the kid you see on the television commercial when people want you to donate money. I saw Heather approaching me. I looked over and saw her eyeing at me then a second later my journal. I called out a noise of pain to grab her attention, instead she reached her hand out in a different direction. My journal was left on the coach. Heather picked up my book and dropped it on the ground with a face or horror and ran to give it to our father. I turned it over and it was a picture of our family. One of our Christmas photos we take each year. The photos have cut out heads. The body’s were replaced on us with Heather sitting in my pink wheelchair while I was standing on legs. 

Fiction 

Heather picked up my book and dropped it on the ground with a face of horror and ran to give it to our father. I turned it over and it was a picture of our family. One of our Christmas photos we take each year. The photos have cut out heads. The body’s were replaced on us with me sitting in my pink wheelchair while Heather was standing on legs.

Likes: 

• Split up a bit more Fiction 
• Likes the approach 
• Likes the sister part having the disabilities 
• Solid writing voice understands the world I created. At the end of a paragraph my lines come across strongly. 
• Craft skills were strong 
• Creating the charter with a depth 
• Like how the day repeats great human nature 
• Like the appearance 
• Likes the interactions with friends 
• Likes how the “class went smoothly” 
• Descriptions 
• Emotion filled putting us in their shoes 
• PG 10 

Suggestion 

• Less explaining less the “ i felt” 
• Does she hate the sister ( Add some Jealous moments) Flesh out background 
• Be more consistent: Like add the car element like a lift ( how it affects every aspect) Show the struggle 
• Need more stuff on the parent 
• Ending didn’t need the fiction part took away from the part 
• Need for clarification on other things in the life -> like add a girl trying to give her a note and she doesn’t get it 
• World seems to curl 
• Want a way to communicate 
• Split them up
• Needs more foreshadowing with sister and Dad 
•  More friends in reality like what is going on with them-> 
• More transitions with the journals sounds to copied like more experiences 
• More on the step father in other world 
• Need a better concept of time ( Sister wants to help her)
• People want the happy ending maybe in fantasy make them have a better connection 

Questions 

I made it jealous           Work bad from the picture     Make her have depression have more reasons have a disconnect 

I made the mom a positive outlook was that overlooked           Make mom for present more conversations, have the mom says she looks nice and then have her get mad over that 

The step dad bc the dad wasn’t around         Write that more 

I made the girls nice to her but I closed them out 

More in parents with both worlds 

• ounds to copied like more experiences 
• More on the step father in other world 
• Need a better concept of time ( Sister wants to help her)
• People want the happy ending maybe in fantasy make them have a better connection 

Questions 

I made it jealous           Work bad from the picture     Make her have depression have more reasons have a disconnect 

I made the mom a positive outlook was that overlooked           Make mom for present more conversations, have the mom says she looks nice and then have her get mad over that 

The step dad bc the dad wasn’t around         Write that more 

I made the girls nice to her but I closed them out 

More in parents with both worlds